Blessed Brokenness

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“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled. “

Matthew 5:3-6

Teach me, I prayed. Teach me what it means to be poor in spirit. Teach me what it means to mourn. Teach me to be gentle. Teach me to hunger and thirst for righteousness. Teach me what it means to be blessed. Not the kind of blessed that’s accompanied by a hashtag, but the kind that is only found in Your presence. Teach me to embrace the kind of life that your son redeemed me for.

I have so much to be thankful for. My life overflows with love. My business is prosperous. My needs are met. I am so, so thankful for the joy that God pours into my life everyday. But I am also learning to be thankful for the hard things. The dark things. The challenging things.

I prayed that God would teach me to be poor in spirit; to recognize my deep and abiding need for Him everyday, and He answered. He answered by unearthing sin in my life that I had fought desperately to bury or hide from Him. He answered by bringing people into my life whose pain I could not heal. He answered by bringing my fears and my insecurities into the light where I could see them and feel the pull of their gravity.

And you know what? I am thankful. 

I am thankful that God in His lovingkindness has chosen to remove my spiritual blindness and allows me to feel the depth of my need for Him. It is an every day, every moment, every breath kind of need that rises up from the deepest part of my soul; a need that can only be satisfied by knowing the One who knit me together.

I am thankful for the times of mourning that I have walked through this year; for moments of brokenness over my sin and over difficult circumstances that have carved a path for the peace and comfort of the Lord to flow in and through my life.

I am thankful that His limitless power, perfect knowledge, and absolute sovereignty render me unnecessary, but His undeserved grace, abundant mercy, and overwhelming love redeem me, heal me, and invite me to participate in His work.

I am thankful that Christ is victorious over sin, death, and the grave, and through Him I have life and freedom. I am thankful that even though I cannot heal the broken, I can walk into their pain and introduce them to the One who can lead them out of it.

I am thankful for the joy and the sorrow; the light and the darkness; the mountain tops and the valleys. I am thankful that not one moment of this life will ever be wasted, because all of it can lead me deeper into His presence. 

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