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Where real love begins

February 6, 2013

I have a confession to make: I enjoy my husband. Spending time with him makes me incredibly happy. He is extremely funny, generous, honest, hilariously inappropriate, and wonderfully fun. He is my sweetheart and partner. He is the one I run to when I am hurting, and his embraces strengthen me to face difficult days. I have learned to be a more giving, sacrificial person by following his example. He is the person I want to share my future with and build my dreams with. He is the peanut butter to my jelly, the mac to my cheese, and the bread to my butter. In short: he is my best friend, and I am so excited that I get to share my life with him.

So you might fight it difficult to believe when I tell you that loving my husband is, without question, the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You see, loving my husband is not the same thing as enjoying him. Love is not a feeling, an inclination, or a positive experience. It is not just a word I use to describe things that entertain me or bring me joy. Love is a choice that leads to an action. It is a decision that results in movement. It is a lifestyle adjustment, and it comes at great personal cost. Loving my husband requires me to behave selflessly, to live humbly, and to serve joyfully. It requires me to wrestle against the selfish nature that has been my constant companion these 26 years. And that, my friends, is a frequent and exhausting battle.

I love my husband when I make his favorite meal the way he likes it, even if I think it tastes better my way. I love him when I pull the clothes out of the dryer and hang them up rather than letting them get all wrinkled. I love him when I keep my car free of the random trash that has a tendency to accumulate there. I love him by putting my purse and shoes in the closet instead of throwing them in the living room. I love him when I choose the restaurant we go to for date night, because I know the last thing he wants to do at the end of a long and stressful day is make another decision. I love him when I listen rather than offering up snarky rebuttals. I love him when I get up as soon as the dog starts barking so that Major doesn’t wake him up. I love him when I let him have the last word in an argument rather than continuing to fight until I feel like I am in the right. I love him when I push him to admit that I’ve upset him, and I acknowledge his pain or frustration. I love him when I pray for the Lord to grow and develop him in His time rather than sharing the ways I think he should change. These things may seem simple, but they are a huge lifestyle shift for me. Because I do think my spaghetti tastes better. I don’t care about wearing wrinkly clothes. I have a tendency to live out of my car. All I want to do when I come home is drop whatever I’m carrying and sit. But I care about my husband, and I want the way I live to reflect that. These things matter to him, so I choose to love him in them and through them.

I’m not saying that performing acts of service is the best way or the only way to love your spouse. I feel most loved when someone speaks words of encouragement to me and shows affection to me. Acts of service do not carry as much value for me. My husband, however, has a servant’s heart, and he feels most loved when I do what he asks of me. Here’s the key: Loving my husband requires that I lay down my selfishness and pride and live in a way that speaks love to him, even if it means going against my nature.

There will be days when you feel so in love with your spouse that you cannot imagine your life being any more beautiful, and there will be days when you feel so frustrated, exhausted, or out of sync that you wonder what happened to the love you shared in the beginning. These are the moments when real love begins. Love is not something that happens to you. It is not something that you find or fall into. It is a commitment. A choice. A lifestyle of kind, humble, sacrificial living. And it is glorious. There is no greater comfort or encouragement in my marriage than to know that my husband chooses to love me based on his resolve and not based on his feelings. The most meaningful and powerful moments in our marriage frequently follow our most difficult days, and I cannot wait to discover together how incredible a lifetime of chosen love can be.

It is my fervent prayer that you and your spouse get to discover the beauty and joy that chosen love brings, as well.

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On dreaming, courage, and turning 26

February 2, 2013

It all began with a dream. But not just any dream. This was an unshakable dream. An impossible dream. A beautiful and life-changingly audacious dream.

To live a life filled with adventure.

To celebrate and serve inspiring couples.

To tell soul stirring tales of everyday romance.

To create images that strengthen and encourage weary hearts.

I was 20 years old, and I was hungry, driven, and terrified. But I had nothing to lose. So with a hand-me-down camera in one hand and my hopes held tightly in the other, I took a leap. A dear friend and well meaning mentor told me that I was not ready. To be honest, he was probably right. But my dream was knocking, and I sprinted to the door. Metaphorically speaking, I was half-dressed with wet hair and a toothbrush hanging out of the side of my mouth, but I had to answer that knock. Because that’s what you do when your dream comes within reach. Ready or not, you take hold of it. So I did. I photographed my first wedding.

The next few years were filled with a progression of contrasting experiences. Joy and heartache. Triumph and failure. Moments of greatness and moments of painful inadequacy. I studied and worked and traveled and served. I invested so much of myself in every project, and little by little I began to watch my hopes for the future take shape right before my eyes. By the time I graduated from college, I was able to transition into shooting weddings full time. My dream became my reality, and it was surprisingly challenging.

Suddenly the life I hoped for and the life I had existed side by side like awkwardly paired roommates. Romance and taxes. Bouquets and bills to pay. Love stories and rising health care costs. So I responded like an adult. And when I say, “like an adult,” I really mean “like someone afraid of losing everything I’d worked so hard to build.” I spent more time obsessing over finances than I did developing and honing my voice, my vision, and my style. Thanks to the support and enthusiasm of my wonderful clients, I managed to build my business up to a moderate but comfortable level of success. I created beautiful work that I am incredibly proud of, but I stopped taking risks. I knew that refining and elevating my business would require me to make difficult choices and significant changes to the status quo.

I looked up the steep and dangerous mountainside of progress, and I decided that I would be safer and more comfortable camped out at its base. After all, I loved the images I created, and so did my clients. It was a win-win. So I wrapped myself in a blanket of familiar, “secure” success, and I allowed myself to grow content there.

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But friends, within my chest beats the heart of a dreamer, a learner, and an adventurer. I long to explore new places and develop new perspectives. I don’t want to look back at my life in five years and wonder “What if?” I’m through allowing my fear of falling to keep me from reaching higher in my life and in my business. This year I am determined to live courageously; and to dream unshakable, impossible, beautiful, and life-changingly audacious dreams. It all begins today.

Happy birthday to me.

I will be unveiling new endeavors and developments for Lauren Wright Weddings over the next few weeks, and I can’t wait to share them with you! I am so excited about the renewed vision and direction I have for my work, and I am so excited for you to be a part of it. Hold on tight. It’s sure to be a wild ride!

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To you Alpha Gam, I’ll always be true

January 7, 2013

Welcome to the Monday Mashup! One of my goals for 2013 is to journal more consistently, and one of the ways I’ve decided to do that is to take time each Monday to share something unique, strange or fun about myself with you. I’ve decided to begin with something that is very near and dear to my heart. I am a sister of Alpha Gamma Delta.

I have tried to write this post a dozen times. Even now, I find myself typing out sentences, erasing them, and beginning again. The right words escape me. It’s so difficult for me to describe the immense love that I have for my Alpha Gam sisters. How do you convey to someone what it feels like to walk into a house filled with complete strangers and know in your heart that you belong? How do you describe that instant connection? The feeling that you have suddenly found yourself among dear friends. The knowledge that they will stand by you through anything. The belief that you have stumbled head first into relationships that will change you forever. I never could have imagined what a beautiful experience awaited me when I first stepped foot in that little yellow house on Fifth Street, but I am so, so thankful that I did.

My Alpha Gam sisters have been a huge source of encouragement, inspiration and motivation for me since I began pursuing this crazy dream in college. My first bride was an Alpha Gam sister, and I have had the joy of photographing many more over the last five years. These women have been my biggest supporters, my loudest cheerleaders, and my most loyal and beloved clients. I know I’m not supposed to have favorites, but my heart is touched in a unique way every time I receive an email that includes the words, “I am an Alpha Gam.” And it’s because those words automatically tell me something about the bride. It tells me that she is authentic, fun loving, and relentless in the pursuit of her dreams. I know that she is a dedicated worker and a fierce friend. Somewhere in her closet she probably has a pair of rain boots, a stack of crush party t-shirts, and a collection of strapless sundresses. Whether or not I know her personally, whether or not we’ve ever met, I want her wedding day to be perfect, and I want to be there to celebrate her and make her feel beautiful.

Here are a few of my favorite portraits of these incredible women.